Bremily's latest, greatest idea...

As Brittany and I (hence the name Bremily) were sitting at Barnes & Noble, discussing extremely random things (penis pinatas, Jessica Simpson's weight problem, etc.), I was struck with a brilliant idea. There is a chance that The Amazing Race will hold a casting call at Karcher Mall, just as they held the Survivor one. If and when that happens, Brittany and I will be in line, waiting to be discovered.

How could this not be a great idea? Brittany and I are everything the other is not. I'm not especially athletic, so she's got running up hills, carrying buckets of water on her shoulders covered. She's not particularly fond of anything academic, so put me in charge of the puzzles and we're good to go. Combine all of that with our sparkling personalities and we're shoo-ins.

I almost described our personalities as spunky, but then had second thoughts, as it didn't conjure up the image I wanted. Which then got me thinking, what exactly does spunky mean and where did the word come from? Amongst our other random conversations, we also started discussing weird words. Spunky was one of them. Poignant was another. And how about permeating? Ok, permeating isn't that weird of a word. If I really took some time, I could probably list many more crazy words, but that idea has since lost some appeal. Besides, it's way past my bedtime! Sweet dreams!

I KILL YOU!

I find it ironic that when I actually have something to blog about, its the same day that my internet decides to not work. And by not work, I basically mean that the person I was stealing internet from decided to wisen up and install a security key. So I suppose I can't really be that upset about it. So anyways, this post is coming to you via my phone. My apologies for no pictures, but take what you can get!

This past weekend was a good one. We had a 'get-together' at my apartment on Friday and there were good times and good people. I especially had a good time, even though my beer pong skills were not up to par. Some practicing is definitely in order.

Saturday I had to go to work for exactly 40 minutes in order to hit my 44 hour mark. Don't get me started on the ridiculousness that is my 44 hour work week. I will post about that later! The rest of the day, however, was spent napping (my favorite!) and then Guitar Hero-ing with Mike until Brittany got home.

Sunday was super, as The C.O.T. had a Super Bowl party complete with quesadillas, wings, pizza, chips and dip, and fruit pizza (gotta throw something a little healthy into the mix!). I was sad that the Cardinals couldn't pull off a win, but that last catch by the Steelers was amazing and I am just glad that it was a good game.

I'm sure you might be wondering about my blog title. It's simple-sometimes I want to inflict great pain on certain people. On Friday, certain people were Will and Joel who kept beating Richard and me at beer pong. At work, certain people are the kids that rattle the gate when we're closed and then, once I give them A Look, they proceed to drag their slimy hands along my window. And sometimes, certain people are even my close friends (none of whom have access to this lovely blog of mine). Has anyone ever had a lopsided friendship? One where you put in more effort than the other person? I'm usually very tolerant of this (probably because I tend to think the best of people. Also because I secretly hope karma will repay me in the future!), but the last month or so, the tolerance has faded. I'm sick of always being the one to remember birthdays and spend hours and tons of money on the perfect present only to be rewarded with nothing in return. I know this is a trivial issue to be worrying about, but its high on my irritation list at the moment. For once, I would like to be put first. But enough about that. Dwelling on the issue will only lead to more bitterness, and so I'm just going to focus on the good times.

I'm sure I've rambled on enough for all of you. And so I shall conclude. Besides, my thumbs are tired.

A short story and a fun picture.

This is what happens when you take a nap at 7:00. PM.

Hi, my name is:

Emily Jean Poitevin

Never in my life have I been to:

Greece. Hopefully very soon!

I hate it when:

I am all ready to go to the gym, and when I grab my IPod, I realize it's dead.Who can go to the gym without an IPod?

The one person who can drive me nuts is:

My sister. We are absolute opposites!

When I'm nervous:

I bite my nails and cross the fingers on my left hand.

The last song I listened to was:

The ending credit song of Superbad. Something about McLovin.

If I were to get married right now my best man/ maid of honor would be:

Hillary Dawn Kelsch Kavran

My hair is:

Usually in a ponytail because I am too lazy to drag my ass out of bed early enough to do anything with it.

When I was 5 I was:

Living an awesome life and rollin' on a pink bike with my neighbors.

Last Christmas:

Was snowy and blowy and beautiful.

I should be:

Sleeping, I suppose.

When I look down I see:

The keyboard.

The happiest recent event was:

My birthday celebration week! My sister, dinner at Sakana, and an awesome extravaganza.

My current annoyance is:

A certain fellow employee.

I have a hard time understanding:

Myself and what I want out of life.

There's this girl that i know:

That is a pathetic excuse for a human being.

The thing I want to buy is:

A new computer and a tropical vacation.

If you visited the place I'm from:

You would be in Idaho Falls. It has a bad reputation (for being boring and extremely conservative), but if you know the right people, you're in for a rockin' good time.

I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than:

Be in an avalanche? Nothing really good came to mind.

Most recent thing I've bought myself was:

A chicken quesadilla.

Most recent thing someone else bought me was:

Dinner at Applebees. Tony is lucky that I am such a good friend and so smart!

My middle name is:

Jean. The same as my grandma's. And Emily is my other grandma's middle name. Love that!

In the morning:

I do not function well before 10:00 am. At all.

Last night I was:

Harassed by Brittany WashJones putting up ridiculous pictures of me on Facebook.

If I was an animal Id be:

An otter. One that lived in a zoo. I would lay on my sunny rock all day and swim whenever I wanted and do tricks for people I thought were cool.

Tomorrow I am:

Volunteering, dog-sitting, doing laundry, ROCKBAND!, dinner with the fam, and then basketball statistics.

Tonight I am:

Watching Friends and doing this. I lead such an exciting life.

This is one of my current favorite photos, via A Cup of Jo.

Love...

Apparently, it has become quite apparent that my life is lacking in the love department, as there was a COT intervention of sorts tonight. After watching the Ravens lose to the Steeler's (sad! There will be no Bird Bowl this year.), H, T, and A decided it would be a good idea to see who they could possibly set me up with. The results were not good. Which probably means that we all need to meet new people. But, I digress...

My friends have always been semi-baffled by my love life. 1-because I don't talk about it, and 2-because it's never really been high on my list of priorities. I just turned 25. I still can't decide what I want to be when I grow up, so why should I worry about getting married? I strongly believe that I'll find whoever I'm supposed to be with when the time is right. And while there is an insane amount of pressure to get married and have babies from my hometown and certain people who live there (which I think is ridiculous and deserves an entire separate post), I am perfectly content with my single life. I can go where I want to, when I want to. I can travel whenever I want, and spend money on whatever I want. And I am extremely fortunate to have so many amazing people in my life to share all my adventures with. Loneliness happens, but it happens for everyone, even if you are married.

I am also a firm believer in building a complete, individual life before combining it with someone else's. Not only do I think it makes for much more successful relationships, but I think it makes for a happier existence in itself. I am not the same person I was when I graduated from high school. I am more confident and I know who I am as a person. And it took me immersing myself in new adventures and opportunities for me to discover that, something I don't think is as easy when you have other people and influences in your life to consider.

In terms of love, I am definitely an idealist. I want the romantic, sweep-you-off-the-feet, knew after the first date I was going to marry them kind of love. But, I also know that sometimes it takes a while for the fireworks to start sparking. And so far, I haven't found one or the other. And while some may think that I have high standards, I'm not at the point where I feel the need to settle, and don't think I'll ever get there.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I'm happy. I think my life is headed where it's supposed to and I'm just trying to enjoy the ride. If it comes to that point, I will encourage my friends to set me up with anyone and everyone and I will succumb to the online dating phenomenon. For now, though, there isn't any worry.

New Year, New Me.

It's almost three weeks into the new year. My thoughts are that this is about the time when people start to slack on their resolutions. For example, last year, I resolved to floss more. Three weeks in, I ran out of those floss stick thingys and so my resolution kind of went by the way-side until late March when I finally got around to buying more. This year, I still resolve to floss more, but I added some new things into the mix.



1. Stop telling little white lies. When I actually started looking at it, it was ridiculous how much a part of my everyday life they had become. And so, I resolved to always tell the truth. And let me tell you, it's a lot harder than you think. Example:



Q: "Why didn't you volunteer this week?"

A: "Oh, I got stuck at work and couldn't make it in time."

Truth: I couldn't drag myself out of bed. And yes, I am a little ashamed of the fact that I can still sleep in until 10 or 11 in the morning.

Basically, if the lie got me out of something easily and made me look less lame than the truth, than it was usually the path that I took. It started to feel natural to me. And that's when I realized that I had a problem. And so, if I tell you I can't make it to your party because I had to go into work or I already made plans to baby-sit, then you can count on the fact that I will actually be at work or watching Dora the Explorer with my favorite 3 year old.

2. Stop heading down the path towards chubbiness! Somehow, it seems that as my age increases, so does my weight. Thankfully, I am not the only one. Four members of the Circle of Trust (I will probably have to do a seperate post now that I've introduced the COT) and I have started our own weight-loss challenge. The prize: $250 and years of bragging rights. So far, Nanny seems to be winning. Just wait until I actually start going to the gym! (Yep, I'm definitely starting out on the right foot. But here's a plus: No McDonalds since the beginning of January!) Come May 10th, not only will my face still look like I'm a 21 year old, but my body will too!


I decided to just pick two things, so that I can better focus on them. I will try and keep this updated, but who really wants to know how long I was able to force myself to stay on the elliptical?



In other news, I'm back to a contemplative state, which is never good, because I always seem to end up with more questions than I started out with. And so, I won't bore you with the details until I figure out exactly what I'm contemplating.

A story...

Once upon a time, it was Emily's 25th birthday (yes, she is old and yes, she knows it.) Because Emily really loves food and really loves entertainment, she decided to go to Sakana, a japanese hibachi grill for dinner. She was accompanied by two awesome ladies.




As Emily was using her chopsticks to eat her food, she noticed that the other two ladies were not. And so she yelled at them. Don't be fooled by the picture below. She ate maybe 1/4 of her meal with the chopsticks. She does not have the skillz to pay the billz like her older, wiser sister does.




This is an onion candle, created just for Emily by the hibachi chef. She didn't get to blow it out and make a wish, so instead, when the shrimp came flying through the air and Emily caught it (ten points!), she made her wish then.

Emily's dear sister made her this delicious birthday cake, which was enjoyed by all. Including the honey bear, who tried unsuccessfully to beat Emily when blowing out the candles. Good thing his mouth was fake.

Because New Year's eve is so close to the holiday that is Emily's birthday, Emily decided to have a birthday/New Year's extravaganza! She even decorated for the occasion, which never happens.

Her great friend El Prego (who is due any day now!) came with her husband and adorable son who is already a champ at beer pong( not really-he just loved throwing the extra balls around). And do not worry-husband was not allowed to jump off anything onto the Love Sack (a story for another time!).

Emily's new dining room table was converted into a beer pong runway, of sorts. Later that night, the birthday girl and her sister dominated in said game, and will take on any competitors, any time. And we won't even spill a drop on the carpet.

This is Eddie. Eddie was THISCLOSE to peeing on Emily's neighbor's head. Needless to say, the neighbor was not too happy and Eddie spent some quality time with a bucket of water.

*Sidenote: when someone tells you to just go pee outside, make sure you're not peeing onto someone else's porch.

Let's play a fun game. Which sister do you think is older? If you're like Emily's friends and the clerk at the liquor store, you will make the wrong choice. But, Emily is learning to just accept the fact that EVERYONE thinks she looks like she's 19 years old. She just hopes that is really does pay off when she's 40 like they all say.

When Emily first planned her party, she decided that it should have a sequined theme. And so, A Sequined Soiree was born. However, Emily ran out of time to come up with a completely sequined outfit and was forced to rely on a sequined headband. Richard came through with flying sequins however; complete with blinged-out boots!

As midnight struck, champagne bubbled and confetti poppers popped. But the party didn't stop there.

An expedition was taken to visit a creepy monk diorama. Creepy monk later turned out to be St. Francis, the very saint that Emily's apartment is named after. Who woulda thought?

After the expedition, an experiment was conducted to see what would happen when confetti is placed into a glass of champagne. Hopefully, the dye used in said confetti is non-toxic because it leaks like the roof in Karcher Mall. No worries however, for the champfetti was not consumed by anyone.

Good thing the confetti dye did not leak onto Emily's brand-spankin'-new couch. That would have not been a good start to the new year!


All in all, the extravaganza was extravaganzily fun and 2009 started off just fine!
My resolutions post will follow shortly!

Sparkly Jesus, hot buttered rum, and more sparkles!

A couple of people wanted to know what the super awesome white elephant present I bought was. And so I shall post a picture. Please don't be offended. It was all in good fun, and I really did buy it with a good message in mind. Christmas is all about celebrating His birthday right? What better way to do that than with a sparkly Jesus bank? Teaching remembrance and good saving habits all at the same time!

We were originally going to do a white elephant gift exchange at The COT's Christmas party. Sadly, I was informed that it was canceled due to lack of planning. But, thanks to Tony's somewhat-clever planning, everyone still got a chance to enjoy my gift. He came up with COT Trivia. Unfortunately, I did not do as well as I should have. Hillary, however, kicked some trivia ass and got to take home the fabulous prize. Good thing Whitley actually thought it was fabulous!

*Sidenote: When making hot buttered rum, find a recipe that uses less butter and make sure you don't heat it up too much. The sweetness can get way too overpowering. I also recommend using regular, light rum instead of spiced. But that probably depends on how sweet your recipe turns out.

We bought Hillary tickets to The Nutcracker for her birthday and it was AMAZING! They built completely new sets and had a brand-new ballet theatre perform. Honestly, one of the best performances I've seen, and I've seen a lot. We're definitely going back next year. And the year after.

Other than that, I've been busy with work, work and more work. I know I should be grateful for the business, because I know we will be sllllloooowwwwww in January and February, but it's hard to enjoy the season when you're in the mall everyday and not to shop. Here are some pictures of my Christmas decorations. They actually go really well with the apartment.

I probably won't be blogging until January, so until then, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwaanza, and may 2009 be amazingly fine!

*Can you tell I love sparkly things? That includes jewelry, if anyone needs birthday ideas!