An ode to my voice...

Hey voice! Where did you go?
Without you, I kind of sound like a freak show.
I had to use my precious sick hours at work today,
which will seriously limit the amount of time for future vacays.

I suppose it's cool that I don't really feel sick,
But I sure do I hope I get better quick.
It sucks when you have to have a translator.
Good thing the BFF owes me a favor*!

Tomorrow we are having a barbecue in the park,
And will probably play clear until it's dark.
Please, voice, come back soon.
Otherwise, I'm wrapping myself up in a cocoon.

The end.

Seriously, this is the second time in two months that I have lost my voice. And this time it's gone completely. I hope you all enjoyed my poem. There will be many more to come. I'm thinking I should quit my job and just become a poet.

*She doesn't really owe me a favor. I just needed something that sort of rhymed with translator.

I can swim to Russia right?

Something happened. I'm not sure when. And I'm not sure how.

My sister and I have switched places. Personality-wise, just to clarify.

In order for you to truly understand what I mean, let me take you back to my high school days.

It's Friday night and I'm working at Old Navy. I get off at 10:00 and have to be back again at 8:00 the next morning. What do I do after I get off? Meet up with my friends and spend the next four hours or so "cruising*." I'd eventually head to bed around 2:00 and be wide awake and ready to go a mere four hours later.

My sister? Was probably in bed before I even got off work.

Another example: it's the night before I take the ACT's. I've put in maybe three hours of studying time and instead of getting a good night's sleep before the big day, I decide it's a much better idea to hang out doing god-knows-what (most likely eating pie at Perkins. That was when it was still cool and open late).
My sister? Had probably put in at least 30 hours of studying time. And written practice essays. And taken those things called practice tests. (Did the ACT even have an essay section? Doesn't matter; she still would have written practice essays.)

Let's just say that throughout high school, I definitely applied myself much more in the areas of making friends, watching movies, and driving around aimlessly than I did in trigonometry, english, and history. Don't get me wrong-I was in multiple AP classes and head photographer and Editor-in-Chief of the yearbook. I went to pretty much every sporting event and was in as many clubs as possible, and graduated with a 3.8 GPA. I was lucky (and still am) that I was smart enough to figure out how to do the bare minimum to make myself look good. Could I have been Valedictorian at graduation? You betcha, but I wouldn't have been able to see OutCold in the theatre at least twice or go to Wendy's in my finest formal for Homecoming dinner or find the ugliest jacket ever to wear to the Rummage Romp.

And when I made my college decision, I chose the one that offered the most fun potential. Forget that I could have gotten my degree for free from UofO or gotten paid to get it at ISU. My friend's weren't going there and niether school had a sweet blue football field.

Sister, on the other hand, defined "applying yourself" in high school. She didn't care about being in the newest, coolest club; she cared about starting one of her own that actually accomplished something worthwhile (and thus, the first recycling club at IFHS was born). She actually studied on Friday and Saturday nights instead of wasting gas and time on good ole' 17th st. She had great friends and she has great memories from high school; just in an entirely different form from me.

And she was Valedictorian when she graduated. And she is basically obtaining her college education at one of the countries most prestigious all-womens' school for free. And she's headed to Russia next year to teach the english language.

Me- I'm still in Boise, still telling myself that all I really want out of life is a good time. Sooner or later, however, I'm going to have to acknowledge that annoying little voice in my head that keeps asking me when my life is really going to start. And sooner or later, I will respond. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

More to come soon!

*Ahh cruising. Many nights were spent with the windows down, Britney Spears blaring, and the five coolest girls ever driving up and down 17th street. Up and down. The purpose? Meeting new people, revving your engines in a form of flirting with the cute ones, and speeding away from the creepy ones. Careful who you flip off- you might get cheeseburgers thrown at you. And don't call the football team who just lost their first game losers. The Teacher will lock your window. You will react like a mentally-challenged person. Hilarity and memories will ensue.

Holla!

I am currently listening to 3Oh!3. If you don't know who they are, you need to find out. Nothing is better than 2 white boys from Colorado rapping to some tight techno beats. Unless you are front and center for their kick-ass performance like I was last night. To help you out, I've put the link to their "Don't Trust a Ho" music video on here. The video: definitely sub-par, but the song still rocks and that's what matters!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv9jUffQKxI

They weren't even the headliners on the tour. We also got to see Rocket to the Moon, Hit the Lights, Family Force 5 (my new fave!), and The Maine, all bands that are worth checking out. And I have excellent taste in music, so do yourself a favor! : )

The Knitting Factory was pizzacked, and my poor feet are suffering because of it. Who was a dumbass and wore flip flops to the concert? Yep, that would be me. I know better, so don't ask me what I was thinking. My legs aren't feeling too hot either, but I am totally ok with that, seeing as how jumping around and dancing for 4 hours straight is an awesome workout. Again, we were surrounded by 12 years old wearing neon of all sorts, but if I look like an 18 year old everywhere else, then I'm sure I fit right in.

One last thing: never have I ever wanted to punch someone so much as the two people who tried to stand in front of us. When we didn't move, they literally grabbed me by my belt loops and tried to move me over. My elbows had something else to say about that, however. They do come in handy every now and then. Also pissed at whoever spit their gum into my shirt, as I didn't realize it until I got home and by then, it had congealed itself to my clothing. Bastards!

Moving on. The rest of my weekend was also quite enjoyable. Work on Friday night definitely didn't count, but Saturday was Lifecoach's husband's birthday and we ate dinner at Tavern at Bown Crossing. Expensive, but delicious. And the pot roast nachos? Amazing. Don't worry, LC, I am still coming over bearing cookie gifts! How is Wednesday? Or Friday?

Also saw the movie I Love You, Man! Definitely worth seeing, maybe even in the theatre. Although I think the six of us were laughing louder and harder than everyone else combined. I'm sure it was because the humor was too complex for anyone but us. Right? Right.

So far, the week has been busy. And it's only Monday. But that just means the weekend will be here that much sooner! (I hate that I look at life in terms of when the weekend will finally get here. I should work on that.) Until then, I will leave you with this little gem of a whistle-pig. Why they are called that and why the Lifer wants to hunt them are questions I'm still working on. Stay tuned!

Whistle pigs=ground hogs, ground squirrels, etc. Very helpful information. Just in case.

To protect and serve...

...Is the motto of our beloved police force, correct? If I'm wrong, let me know. For now, we'll go with the fact that I am always right (just don't ask The BFF or The Teacher about this. They will tell you some sort of ridiculous lie proving otherwise.) In that case, I have a question. Is serving me with a speeding ticket what they were talking about when they came up with said slogan? I didn't think so.

It's true. I got my first speeding ticket yesterday. Ever. And I totally don't think I deserved it. For the following reasons:

1.The location of the incident.
Those of you that live in the city of trees know the certain stretch of road I was pulled over on. Right as the freeway becomes the connector. Before you even reach the Franklin on-ramp. Where there isn't a speed limit sign anywhere close. I don't know about you, but I don't consider myself to be on the connector until I reach the Franklin on-ramp and can see the mall to my left. That's where I slow down. And I was pulled over right before I hit that spot. Fair? I think not. I'm going to personally write a letter requesting a sign that states; "Welcome to the Connector-Home of the 55 mph speed limit. Please slow down NOW!" Seeing as how I am so powerful and convincing, I'm sure the powers that be will listen. So watch for that sign to come soon!

2. My impeccable character.
I am a very organized driver. All of my insurance cards are stapled to my registration and then stored in a handy envelope. Isn't there some sort of organization discount? If not, there's another letter I need to write.

3. My impeccable character (again).
I was clearly going with the flow of traffic. And I could have been an asshole and asked him if he did his 12-point check and all that jazz, but I didn't. And he still gave me a ticket. Two, to be exact, because I didn't have my most current insurance card (which was effective March 1st or something ridiculous like that. Seriously?!). Apparently, Officer Douchebag hasn't heard about going with the flow. Of anything. Not only do I get to pay $75, but I get to take a trip to the court house and visit with a clerk to show them that I am, in fact, an insured driver. Did I mention that fact that there are at least 11 old insurance cards all stapled together? And that the last one expired on February 28? I did?! Right. Just making sure we're clear.

Really, I'm not annoyed at all. It happens to everyone. Officer Douchebag was just doing his job. Protecting and serving.

------------
While we're on the subject of the po-lice, I suppose its a good time to tell you about my first trip to Portland. We were maybe a month into our freshman year of college. The Hot One and The Artiste were planning their first weekend trip home and asked if I wanted to join. I didn't give a definite answer, but said I would think about it. Until they asked The Roommate if she wanted to go too. With no hesitation whatsoever, she said she was in. Not wanting to be outdone or left out, I said I was in too, and that next weekend, we were off.

That weekend, in addition to eating delicious homemade food (yaki soba noodles anyone?) and spending way too much money shopping (the no sales tax thing seems like a great idea at the time!), I got the chance to truly find out who The Artiste and The Hot One really were. And my suspicions were confirmed: they were just as crazy as I thought they were.

All of their old friends from high school were in town for the weekend, and they had a huge reunion party. Keep in mind that I'm from small town Idaho; the party was out of control compared to what I was used to. The Artiste and The Backbreaker officially coined the phrase "rocking the Winnie," I was introduced to the wonders of Skyy vodka, and The Roommate decided she wasn't ready to call it a night when everyone else finally did. And so she invited the two sketchiest people at the party home with us.

I'm not making this up. In THO and TA's circle of friends and acquaintances, they were known as The Murderer and The Rapist. The Murderer was a Golden Gloves boxing champ, and had just recently spent a little time in prison for beating someone with a metal pipe.

The Rapist wasn't technically a rapist; he was just reallly creepy and reallly touchy-feely. And there were some rumors that he didn't fully understand the boundaries involved when a girl passed out from too much alcohol.

And The Roommate really invited them over. It was an uneventful end to the evening, but it still gave me great insight into who I was dealing with.

All in all, the trip was a good one. The ride home, however, was a long one, and its where the po-lice come into play.

Oregon cops are assholes. We had 2 cars on the way back-one with the 3 of us and one with The Artiste and her sister. We were a mere hour into our drive, when we rounded a bend and came face to face with a cop. TA was leading and so she got pulled over. Both for speeding (maybe 10 over the limit. Maybe) and for not having a clear view in her rearview mirror. Thankfully, she didn't get a ticket.

Because we were following her, we drove a few miles and then pulled over. Bad idea, as the cop pulled up behind us a little later. Apparently its not a good idea to wait for someone you were following, if that someone was speeding. It most likely means you were speeding too. And he did have a point. But, he chalked it up as a learning experience and we were off once again.

The drive between Portland and Boise is a long one, but not a bad one. In the day time. Because its pretty. Nightime is a different story. Being girls, when nature calls, we have to find an appropriate facility. Unfortunatley for us, there was not one in sight and nature was calling persistently. And so we pulled off and found a nice empty field. With some razorblades decorating it. Why they were there we do not know, nor did we wish to find out. We were just glad that we had all somehow managed to avoid them during the peeing process.

And back in the car we went. A short time later, still following TA, a car came racing up behind me, with headlights flashing. Not knowing what the hell was going on, we pulled over to the side of the road and let it pass. As it flew by, we recognized the familiar marking of a state trooper. 'Weird that he didn't have his actual lights on,' we thought.

A short time later, we saw the state trooper and his latest prey, 2 semi-trucks. As we passed them, the officer did the weirdest thing. He turned his flashlight on us as we passed, and hopped into his car. And pulled both of us over. The 2 semi-trucks both had to follow, so he had 4 cars pulled over all at once. And what was our crime this time? He 'paced' us and said we must have been going at least 15 over the limit. Not true in any way, shape, or form. Don't you think we learned our lesson the first time? Again, TH was leading and this time she got a ticket. And a date in court. Like I said, Oregon cops are assholes.

We did finally make it home, without any other incidents. Except for when my contact fell out as I was driving. But I think you've heard enough. And I've definitely typed enough. So until next time...

PS: Anyone else know what whistle-pigs are? Or is that an Idaho thing?

Workin' out, weddings, and wings...

I finally sucked it up and made my way back to the gym today. And it was not fun. But is the gym ever really fun? As I was sweatin' it out, listening to some sweet tunes, a couple thoughts came to mind and I thought I would share with you. I know you're excited!

There was this man. He was wearing a rainbow-striped jacket. It was manly rainbow striped, mind you, but it was still RAINBOW STRIPED. Needless to say, I was jealous. And if I could have snuck my way into the men's locker room and stolen it, I would have.

(The rainbow jacket also made me think about my awesome Rainbow Bright halloween costume. And how pissed I was when two other girls were wearing the same costume downtown. Except they were lazy and bought their costume, unlike myself. But I digress...)

There was this other man. He was in front of me, and he was spinning like no other. He was also sweating like no other. We're talking dripping buckets of water. All over the bike. All over the floor. It was gross. So gross I had to focus on the woman running on the treadmill behind me who was making shooshing noises as she was breathing. How am I supposed to concentrate on not falling off the elliptical with these two?

My last thought involved the girl at reception desk. Wearing three-inch heels. Hi, you work at a gym. A smelly, sweaty, swooshy gym. Why are you dressed up? Why is any of the staff dressed up? Hell, the trainer wearing new pants is too dressed up if you ask me. I get the whole "being professional" thing, but at a gym? I think as long as you don't smell and don't drip sweat on me, then we're good to go!

But enough about the gym. Without the crazies there to entertain me/gross me out, what's the point of going? Oh. Right. Working out. I suppose that's a good point. And as time is ticking in the COT weight loss challenge, I should probably make the gym my new best friend.

In other news, wedding season has officially begun. I got the chance to celebrate the nuptials of Ben and Raylene on Saturday. It was definitely a weird experience being in the audience. But quite an enjoyable one. Instead of worrying about being watched, I got to do the watching! And there were some very HOT firemen to watch! And some funny, drunken dancing. And The Teacher was a bridesmaid and she did a beautiful job. Favorite part? Besides the cake, you mean? Loved her dress and I loved the fact that they got to ride around in an old school fire truck. Very romantic! I have more thoughts of weddings, but I'll save them for another post.

Because I want to talk about wings! Buffalo wings, to be exact. Select members of the COT and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings yesterday and I'm in love. Not only with the wings (honey bbq style) and the fries, but with TRIVIA! I know I posted about trivia before, but can I just say how much I love it? Random, useless facts combined with my really good knack for guessing equals the best time ever! So who wants to go?

Why not having cable is awesome...

1. I wouldn't have gotten to spend my Sunday night vaccuuming out the heater grate in my kitchen. Or mop my floor with washcloths on my feet (old school style!).

2. I never would have gotten the chance to watch the tv show Legend of The Seeker. Let me tell you, it is some of the best acting I have seen in a while. How do I describe it? It's Harry Potter meets Walker, Texas Ranger, with a little Xena, Warrior Princess and LoTR thrown in. I can't believe I was able to tear myself away from it to even write this blog!

3. It gave me a chance to re-bond with my movies. I'd forgotten just how good She's the Man, Love Actually, and The Goonies really are (I'm kind of serious about this one!).

I know everyone reading this is truly enthralled, but really-I need cable! That will hopefully happen soon.

Before I go any further, there is one very important cast member that needs introducing. I could never forget about The Teacher (her nickname needs some work, but I'm not very creative at the moment), but it had been a while since I'd talked to her, and so she wasn't in my daily thoughts. But she is most definitely a very important character in my life. And she is in town for the next little while and I am very happy about that. Her good friend (and mine now, thanks to her!) is getting married next Saturday and her bachelorette party was last night. Apparently, Mulligans and 10th Street Station don't get a lot of bachelorette parties. Or know what a Scooby Snack is. Eventually, we ended up at the more group-friendly bars, and they were packed. Spring Break will do that, I guess. Too bad I don't still get a Spring Break. I could use one!

It was fun, and I'm excited for the wedding next week. Still don't know who I'm taking as my date. Any takers?

I feel like doing an Irish jig...

...And then kicking someone in the face.

Didn't expect that, did you?

I don't know what it is, but I'm sick of people. Actually, I do know what it is. I'm sick of people who judge everyone else. I'm sick of people who take advantage of everyone else, myself included. I'm sick of trying to do nice things for people, only to have them go unnoticed and unappreciated. Whatever happened to just saying thank you?

I know I said yesterday that I was ready to move. And I'm so there again. I'm ready for the next chapter in my life, for new people and new adventures. At this point, I'm not even worried about having to move all by myself. Security blankets are fucking over-rated. Moving won't happen anywhere in the new future, but if an opportunity presented itself, I wouldn't think twice.

And now I'm sick of being grouchy. So instead I'm going to focus on having a good night with The Artiste. She deserves it and so do I.

But if I see someone not wearing green, I'm totally going to pinch them.